My Cowboy doesn't give a newborn calf a bottle if he won't suck. He tubes them. See the long tube on this bottle? That goes down the calf's throat and right into his stomach and the milk just pours right into his little belly. Warm milk. His mama is supposed to provide that, and she will, but clearly some intervention is needed and the sun is setting so we need to get hot milk into the new baby.
Insert the long tube in the calf's mouth and slide it all the way down his throat. This isn't a bottle for sucking, oh no. It's a tube, also called Drenching.
Threading the tube down the calf's throat into it's tummy where he will be filled with luscious, life saving food his mama is too dumb to stand still and provide...even as she stands inches away, threatening to SAVE HER BABY from the scary cowboy and his wife, who is standing well away and emitting an odd clicking noise. (the camera)
"You're prepared to step in and shoo her away if she charges, right?" My cowboy asks...me!
Then the calf says, "Hot milk? I don't want that? I was thinking more a venti cappucino! MAMA SAVE ME!"
What are you doin' to my baby? (insert horrible bellow...she sounds like a bull.
This is not a MOO, it is deep, throaty, MEAN)
The calf lurches sideways and shakes the tube. The cow puffs hot breath in My Cowboy's face. He said, "You feed him then, Slacker Cow
Wait, there's a shiny object. Okay, fine, you do it.
So the job is left to My Cowboy after all. And mama looks on, along with a young heifer, still waiting to calf, who is thinking, "So, that's how it's done. Got it."