Sunday, November 22, 2009

Why-oh, why

If you know the answer to any of these questions please notify me. Immediately.

How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'...but it's
only a 'penny for your thoughts'?
Where's that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to
put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a
baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at
things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that
burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which
no decent human being would eat?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make
a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a
hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains
on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all
that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, & vegetable oil
is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made

If electricity comes from electrons, does
morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's
outside the hemisphere, but call it
a hemorrhoid when it's in question

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you
take him for a car ride, he sticks his head
out the window?

Why do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient
funds' when they know there is not enough

Why does someone believe you when you say
there are four billion stars, but check when
you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death
by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,
but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath
you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on

Why do people constantly return to the
refrigerator with hopes that something new to
eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen
times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the
end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed
light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams
our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes
for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?'
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say,
'That really hurt, why don't you watch where
you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch
something that's falling off the table, you
always manage to knock something else over?

1 comment:

Pepper Basham said...

I don't know the answers, but what I DO know....
is that I laughed while reading them.
Can one literally 'laugh one's head off'? Hmmm
I can totally understand laughing to one pees his/her pants ;-)but 'head off'??