Friday, February 20, 2009

Mary Needs

This was fun. Google your FIRST NAME and the word Needs in quotes.
"Mary needs" and see what the first ten hits are.

1) Mary Needs the lamb at school
A poem that addresses why violence in school has increased over the past few decades. (this was the first hit? A poem about school violence? Bummer)

2) Mary needs to determine the best day to work her magic. (So true, I need to use my power for good!)

3) Mary needs sleep by Brian Masney. Taken after a 20 hour survey trip in Hellhole(where?). (I’ve needed sleep for fifty years, but I’m still alive so I suppose NEED isn’t the right word)

4) Mary needs shadows with pictures, videos, personal blog, interests, information about me and more. (This one is wrong-I don’t need no stinking shadows)

5) Mary needs numbers. (there’s a discussion board for this-I didn't go there)

6) Mary Needs some literary education (well, OUCH)

7) Mary Needs to win ---this is actually about basketball and U-Mary-It's crunch time for the U Mary women. With only two weeks and five games left the Marauders are in danger of missing the post season.
I do need to win, badly! But don't we ALL need to win, c'mon)
HEY! I had to hunt for this U-Mary is…the University of Mary in North Dakota. How cool is that? There is a college named University of Mary.

8) Mary's needs to focus on defense-this is actually St. Mary’s need to focus on defense. More sports. Which brings me to a thought, how hard is it for GUYS to feel macho is their team is called St. Mary? Not that St. Mary wasn't a tough woman. But still, not really a he-man team name. I'm used to things called St. Mary, not as fun as just plain University of Mary

9) Mary Needs Stuff-This was in a Trenton, New Jersey newspaper. It reads: This is Mary from Tender Hearts. I want to ask your Back Talk readers to let me know if they can donate any of the following: a wheelchair with feet, size large men’s PJs, a highchair for a baby…
(I’m figuring this for a homeless shelter or church or something. )

10) Mary Needs Saving-how scary is this? The line really reads -- Historic Queen Mary Needs Saving. (It's about a cruise ship. Phew, feel a little better now.)

And a bonus 11) Sexy Mary Needs attention on her feet. (This starts out sounding good, which is why I decided to do ELEVEN. Then takes a bad turn when it cites someone named smellyzz? So Mary needs attention on her feet is ‘cuz they STINK???)

1 comment:

Janell said...

That was truly... how shall I say this...? Bizarre is all I can come up with. But also outrageously funny with all your comments included.