Sunday, November 16, 2008

Husker Harvest Days

I'll start by telling you that Husker Harvest Days seems like a really MANLY event. What with it being for farmers and ranchers, NOT a traditionally female-centric occupation, although there were a lot of women there and any farm or ranch wife will tell you it's a partnership.
Husband and wife are BOTH farmers and ranchers.



So, because it's a manly event, this guy struck me as almost ZEN-LIKE in his masculinity.

How secure do you have to be to walk around Husker Harvest Days wearing a purple back-pack. My goodness. Very impressive.

Below is a close-up.



Even more than the guy wearing his purple backpack, how about the guy NEXT TO HIM? How secure must he be to HANG with the guy with the purple backpack.



I really was impressed with this...a canvas building. It's like we've gone in a full circle and are back to living in tents and teepees. The guy selling this said the building in this picture above, is five years old and he expected it to last just as long as a steel or wooden structure. Seems like a good idea to me. Ought to be fast to erect, but who knows. Maybe not. Or maybe it springs out of it's carton, like one of those tents that just SNAP up, when you pull them out of the box. If it doesn't they ought to consider inventing that.



Now we're on T-Shirts. Click on these to enlarge them and read them. Very funny.

As a writer, I have always been impressed with brilliant use of words. Jokes really intrigue me, and comic strips, and greeting cards and well done commercials.

Because they're so short, a writer has to use words perfectly to get every ounce of nuance from them. I thought these T-Shirts were a good example of words being used very well.




Okay, this is just funny. I should have bought one, except for that whole "I don't drink beer" thing. But that's the ONLY thing that stopped me.





And this one above, is the truth, the whole truth and nuthin' but the truth. In fact my husband says we ought to repeal that pesky law about one man, one woman being married, make a 'polygamy exception' for ranchers. Because he says a rancher needs TWO wives working in town to properly support a ranch.
I'm not entirely opposed to that. I could use some help around this place.
And this was just nice. And I love that guy posed there. I want him.

Ummmmm....I mean........I want him on my BOOK COVER!!!!!!

Please, where is YOUR head at???





And now we get to the portion of Husker Harvest Days I call

SIZE MATTERS.

This (above) is a wagon.
And no, it's not a phony lawn ornament demo-wagon,
built to draw in the buyers like some twenty foot plastic ice cream cone at Dairy Queen.

They really sell these things.

Note the people walking past.

These are real people, full sized people, not children dressed up like people.

Not that children aren't people........well, moving on.
Big Belt Buckles. Honkin' big horse...

no idea why they had to bring a GIANT horse.

But this is Husker Harvest Days.

Size matters!

This is a tractor that drives itself. I think. The truth was never made clear. Not that I asked. who's got time for that? But the truth should have been out there. Like...on a sign or something. So this sign is on the tractor's window and it seems to infer (or imply? Yes, English is my first language, shut up) the tractors were driving themselves.

Isn't this how the Terminator Movie started?

The machines became self-aware?

And thus began the 'RISE OF THE MACHINES'.

Well, blame it on farmers when it happens because I've got the proof right here on my blog.

Once you get past the tractors that drive themselves, then you go on to the tractors that are bigger than buildings. Note the tent in the background.

It wasn't that small a tent.

Only compared to that tractor.




And this yellow thing...it's about the size of a small town.

It is a combine. With a bean head. It has it's own zip code. Based on the men staring at it, I decided it might have its own gravitational pull.

It's so big it seems like you'd only have to drive through the field once and you'd be done. Look at the guy walking past that combine. A full sized human being...I SWEAR.


Which brings me to the point of this blog.

(You had your doubts. I respect that)

I was kind of a big deal at the annual Husker Harvest Days.
If you'll note...I was featured prominently in the Rural Life Tent.






OKAY LOOK CLOSER
You're not even trying--look CLOSER

Here, let me help you.



Oh, for heaven's sake it's there. You're not even trying!

GET A MAGNIFYING GLASS IF YOU HAVE TOO!



As I said, I was kind of a big deal at Husker Harvest Days.
Nothing like that Cowboy Poet, though. (He's on the sign with me)
That guy seriously kicked my...um...what I mean is, he drew a huge crowd.

People were all, "When's the cowboy poet coming."


And at the end of my talk I'd ask for questions and they'd say, "We thought the cowboy poet was speaking, when is it his turn?"
And he was good, too.

They ought call him the Cowboy Show Off.
I thought about including his blog link and maybe one of his poems.

But I figured you'd all desert me and go hang around with him.......I base this on cruel experience. So, if you want to find the cowboy poet, I'll be darned if I'll help you.

My daily presentation was on how to make money online. Let me summarize my points here.
You can't.

Give up, get a job and commute like everyone else.

I didn't say it was a LONG TALK.
And I didn't say I was being asked BACK.
Whew, well, that's the story of my adventure at Husker Harvest Days.

Ya'll come back now, hear?
I'll sign off with my new official picture. Do NOT look at those four people sitting on the stage. Angela Hunt, Karen Ball, James Scott Bell and Brandilyn Collins.

IGNORE THEM.
Just because they got asked to sit up there and I didn't doesn't mean a THING.
Look at the jumbo-tron behind them, up-look up, no, up and to the left.
Maybe click on the picture to make it bigger.
Just forget it. I'll do it for you. I have to do EVERYTHING AROUND HERE!!!
That is ME on that Jumbo-tron. Pretty cool, huh?

This was in the Mall of America. So I'm ending this blog with my new official photo.

I'm gonna see if Barbour Publishing will put it on the back of my books.

And if someone wants to infer that Hunt, Ball, Bell and Collins had some part in my book, well, that's what inference will get you.
Let the buyer beware!
Mary Connealy
http://www.maryconnealy.com/

10 comments:

Julie Lessman said...

Oh, gosh, Mary, I can always count on you for a good laugh!! Been looking at the computer way too long today, and your blog did the trick -- cleared the fog from my brain with some good chuckles, sweetie. Too cute!! Husker Harvest Days -- Ye-haw!

Hugs,
Julie

Pam Hillman said...

Thanks for the laughs, Mary. Enjoyed reading all about the Husker Harvest Days.

Mary Connealy said...

You know I'd have never thought of the whole SIZE MATTERS section of this blog if there hadn't been a huge SIGN that said SIZE MATTERS on the side of that wagon.

Missy Tippens said...

ROFL!!! Great post, Mary. Thanks for sharing all the great photos (obscene ones included). :) And I appreciate the zooming in. I don't have a magnifying glass handy.

:)
Missy

Mary Connealy said...

Hi, ladies. I thought I left a greeting post here earlier. Eaten by Google no doubt.

I may name my next book

Eaten by Google.

Historical western, but I can make it work.

Pamela J said...

I actually DROVE one of those harvesters one harvest season! Made me feel like a very small person. You've met me, Mary, you know I'm just about your height. Did you feel very small next to it too? And what about that bean head, as you called it? What did that make MY head inside IT? I guarantee you that took many more swipes through the field besides one or even two and there were THREE of us, one with each machine. Now if I hadn't done it myself, I'd have a hard time imagining it. Great pictures, great fun.
Pam W

Audra Harders said...

LOL! The midwest should be VERY proud of your fertile mind : ) Loved the blog!

Giant equipement is right! A friend of ours has swather that needs a little 3 rung ladder to get in to!

Hey, I think I know that horse. Samson? Our Murdochs Home and Ranch Supply hosted the horse last year INSIDE THE STORE! He was something to see and I pitied the poor kids cleaning up after him : )

I wish I could've read all the t-shirts. . .

CherylStJohn said...

Loved the cowboy T-shirts!

Mary Connealy said...

I should have bought on just to give away on P & P.
I wish I'd thought of that. :)

Maybe next year...not that I'm being asked Back. You go this time, Cheryl.

Sue said...

Size matters. When you look really bad someone might say "You look like you have been run over by a Mac truck." Saying " you look like you have been run over by a Ranger pickup" just doesn't sound near as damaging.